New Moon, ch. 17 and 18

Posted in Uncategorized on October 11, 2008 by Shawna Buchanan

(spoilers)

Chapter 17 -

- Heh.  Bella forgot that vampires drink blood.  Naturally.

- Sounds like Alice is talking to someone in her head, too.  What’s going on here?

- LOL.  “He’s sort of a werewolf.”  Is that like being sort of pregnant?

- Go ahead, Bella.  Tell her all about what you’ve been up to.  Tell her about how you’ve spilled everything you know about her and her family and their special powers to their mortal enemies.  That’ll calm her concerns.

- “the truest of true loves”?  Gak.

Chapter 18 -

- Why can’t they be there when Alice is there?  She already said she wasn’t around when the treaty was made.  Shouldn’t that mean she’s not part of it?

- Hey, there’s something the werewolves have in common with the vampires.  They all think Bella smells bad.

- “He’s at the funeral.”  LOL!  Yeah, ’cause that’s not going to send them into a fit of worry and have Edward racing back at all.

- Oh, apparently he’s not racing back to check on her, like a sane person would.  No, he’s racing to go off himself.  Apparently Edward is channeling Harry Potter circa book 5.  What is it with teenage boys racing off half-cocked to do ridiculously stupid things?

In related news, I saw the new Twilight trailer.  Lines like “I’d rather die than stay away from you” and “You are my life now” just sound so much cheesier when you actually hear them.  And since when did they climb trees like spider monkeys?  Also, I’m not sure how I feel about that horribly obvious attempt to incorporate the image on the cover of the book.

New Moon, ch. 15 and 16

Posted in Books with tags on October 11, 2008 by Shawna Buchanan

(spoilers)

Chapter 15 -

- LOL.  Some people go to Mexico for spring break.  Bella Swan gets hunted by vampires.  It’s important to have traditions.

- Heh.  Mike.  So annoying, and yet always there.
“Are you dating that sophomore?  That gigantic, old-looking sophomore?  Psh.”

- “You can’t go see just any doctor when you’re running a temperature that should mean you’re dead.”  No, but you could go see Carlisle.  Considering he’s running a temperature that should mean he’s dead, too.  Ha!  Aw… that would be funny.

Chapter 16 -

- “Juliet gets dumped and ends up with Paris” may not have been a hit, but it probably would have been a better story.  At least one with a happier ending, anyway.

- Oh my goodness, is this Bella with some sense getting knocked into her?  And all it took was someone else dying.

- Yeah, Bella, I’m not so sure it’s fair to Jacob if you say yes to him and you cap your wedding vows off with, “til death do us part… or ’til Edward comes back.”

- “Be happy.”  Aww… I think that may be the most selfless thing Edward’s said so far.  Really touching, actually.

- Humph.  “Just Carlisle” indeed.

- So, what?  Bella expected Jacob to be glad the Cullens were back?

- “I really hope you don’t die.”  LOL!  Ouch.  Seriously, why is Jacob so crazy about this girl?

New Moon, ch. 13 and 14

Posted in Books with tags on October 9, 2008 by Shawna Buchanan

(spoilers)

Chapter 13 -

- Wow, she is just so dense.  Clearly the werewolves are trying to protect people, you idiot!

- “I thought we were talking about your disgust for werewolves.”  Heh.
“Right, ’cause I totally have a racist prejudice against werewolves, despite the fact that I just found out they exist.”

- Hee.  Bella doesn’t ask for much.  She doesn’t even ask that you be human.  All she asks is that you try not to murder people.

- “You’re quick.”  No.  She’s not.

- Post-wolfing Jacob is actually kind of indistinguishable from Edward.  Everything that made him a unique character seems to have… gone away.

Chapter 14 -

- Heehee.  Werewolves are fun.  And Embry is much more fun than when he was all mopey before.

- Vampire Girl meets Wolf Girl.  Sounds like a cheesy 70’s comic.  … Actually, I’d like to see that.

- Why do I get the feeling that the vampire family and the werewolf family will eventually come together in some weird Brady Bunch way to team up against, say, evil vampires or something?

- I do not envy Emily the task of feeding five enormous teenage werewolves.

- When Bella’s checking out Emily’s scars and noting that hanging out with werewolves has its risks, I quite expected her to note the scar on her own hand and add that hanging out with vampires carries similar risks.  (For that matter, you can’t tell me that the horrible laceration she suffered on her birthday didn’t leave a scar.)

- “What if, during the time that I’d known him, he’d been just like any other vampire?”  Well, in that case, you would have been dead immediately, so you wouldn’t have had time to develop an attachment, even if you’d wanted to.

New Moon, ch. 11 and 12

Posted in Books, Uncategorized with tags on October 9, 2008 by Shawna Buchanan

Yep, still doing this, because apparently that’s about as exciting as my life gets at present.  (Well, there’s the novel I’m writing, but most of the people who read this already know about that, anyway.)

(Spoiler warning.)

Chapter 11 -

- “I yearned for his carefree laugh and his infections grin (…) his warm hand around my cold fingers.”  He also doesn’t make a half-bad guard dog either, evidently.

- Heehee.  “Holy crow.”  That’s quaint.

- Yeah, Bella.  You are pretty stupid for not realizing that sooner.

- Looks like Quil might be on his way to the fur club, as well.  If these noticeable growth spurts are any indication.

- Yep, Jacob’s definitely beginning to remind me of Edward now.

- Aw, Edward’s voice in Bella’s head is kind of sweet.  Hey, if she can’t have her boyfriend, at least she can have his voice in her head to warn her when she’s about to do something stupid.

- Hahahaha!  Boy, I loves me some angst.  Yes, it’s very sad, but having skimmed ahead enough to be reasonably sure of a happy outcome all around… I do love the angst.

- “I’m not good enough for you”?  Wow, Jacob is seriously taking some pages from Edward’s playbook.

- Wow, abandoned by two guys for her own good in less than a year.  Ouch.

- Aww.  Aside from the utter cluelessness as to the proper response when one’s offspring is ill (which evidently doesn’t also include injury, if the van incident in the first book is an indication), Charlie really is a good dad, and one of the few just plain decent folk in the story.  Also ignoring the fact that Bella’s able to dupe him with some frequency and he didn’t realize her boyfriend was a vampire, even after supposedly eating pizza with him (really, just the two of them there and he didn’t notice that the other person wasn’t actually eating?).

- Well, it seems Bella’s subconscious, at least, sees the resemblance.

- What’s this?  An exciting cliffhanger?  Finally.

Chapter 12 -

- “I’m trying to keep my promise!”  “When did you ever promise to kill yourself falling out of Charlie’s tree?”  LOL!  Guess Jacob’s not quite as good at sneaking into Bella’s room as Edward is.

- Um, “the day we first met”?  But what about that whole deal they made at various points about him being an old friend she’d see in the summers?

- So, are we supposed to be on the same page as Bella here?  Are we really supposed to wait around for her to figure out something that was blatantly obvious several chapters ago?

- The answer comes to her in a dream?  Really?  Isn’t that kind of a cop-out?

- Why has she not thought that maybe it was the crazy rogue vampires killing hikers?  She’s not the cleverest of girls, is she?

New Moon, ch. 9 and 10

Posted in Books with tags on October 8, 2008 by Shawna Buchanan

(spoiler warning)

Chapter 9 -

- Darn it, I am starting to like Jacob.  Oh, not because of his baffling persistence to get Bella to like him.  No, it’s because he says some funny things.  Sometimes the dialogue means to be funny and it is.

- So, she’s finally starting to realize she uses people.  But doesn’t care.  Is that an improvement?

- Come to think of it, her attitude about Jacob is starting to bear uncanny resemblance to Edward’s initial attitude about her.  Which means that, if the pattern holds, she’ll soon give up trying to stay away from him to keep from hurting him (although in this case “away” meaning “romantically unreceptive”).

- Tell-tale scars are so inconvenient.
Jacob: “Where’d you get this unnaturally cold, mouth-shaped scar?”
Bella: “Oh, some vampire bit me.  Then Edward had to suck the venom out.  Yeah, he nearly couldn’t stop himself and I almost died all over again, but hey, at least I didn’t get turned into a vampire.  Even though that’s kind of what I want more than anything in the world.  … I mean, I don’t remember where I got it.”

- Vampires are cold, werewolves are hot.  That actually makes a strange sort of sense.

- “But I needed Jacob now, needed him like a drug.”  Would that drug, perhaps, be heroin?  One might even say your brand of heroin?  Yay for healthy relationships.

- Apparently Charlie is really sucky at being a dad when it comes to the actual caring-for part.  Given the fact that he shows no real concern when his only daughter is puking her guts out, lets her spend literally the entire day on the bathroom floor with his only show of caretaking being to leave a glass of water on the floor, and then makes excuses to leave the house so he can use a bathroom.

- By the end of this chapter, Jacob is sounding remarkably like Edward.  I think he’s inadvertently found his way into Bella’s heart.

Chapter 10 -

- I think Bella has taken to using the term “friend” rather loosely, considering none of them want to be around her and she doesn’t care what they think.

- Her dad, the police chief, explicitly warns her to stay in the house because there’s bears on the loose and a missing hiker.  So naturally, Bella lies to him, waits for him to leave, and promptly heads for the woods without a second thought.  …  *headdesk*

- Wow, who would have guessed that plan would go wrong, Bella?  Sheesh.

- What’s this?  Bella having an irational response to danger?  Get right outta town.

- “Weren’t you sort of a pet of theirs?”  LOL.  Oh, Laurent.  That’s right up there with, “You brought a snack?”  Always so innocently bemused, yet so indescribably terrifying.

- He was hunting… for humans… in the middle of a forest far away from any trail?  Surely Laurent’s not as dumb as that makes him sound.

- Random thought: why is it that vampires feel the need to hide in this world?  Even if humans got all up in arms and turned against them, it’s not like they could really do anything to hurt them.  So far it seems like the only ones who can hurt vampries at all are werewolves and other vampires.  Yeah, it would make it hard for them to settle down and have a life, but not many of them want that, anyway.  Why don’t they use their near invincibility, come out of hiding, and, I don’t know, take over the world?  Because it kinda seems like they could.

- One of the wolves has “reddish-brown” fur?  You mean like Edward’s reddish-brown hair, which Bella initially remembers due to its odd color?  What are you trying to tell us, Ms. Meyer?  Since I’m pretty sure Edward is not both a vampire and a werewolf, this seems an odd detail.

- Heh.  Bella certainly does have a way of making enemies without trying.  Although she might have pointed out that, technically, it was Emmett and Jasper that killed James, not Edward.  Not that it would likely matter to Victoria, but for the sake of clarity…

New Moon, ch. 7 and 8

Posted in Books with tags on October 7, 2008 by Shawna Buchanan

(spoiler warning)

Chapter 7 -

- Well, at least she realizes she’s traded one unhealthy addiction for another.  Too bad she’s entirely disinclined to do anything about it.

- So it seems, apparently, that only some people in the tribe become werewolves, and that they don’t give them fair warning of it beforehand.  Well, I have to admit, I’m curious to watch this play out.

- Bella’s funny.  “Hey, that looks like it could kill me!  Let’s do it!”  I suppose it’s a good thing she’s attracted to guys who care more about her safety than she does.

Chapter 8 -

- Getting dumped by your boyfriend’s the worst thing possible?  Really?  Worse than dying?  Okay, Bella, whatever you say.  (Of course, having neither had my heart broken nor almost died, I really have no adequate basis for comparison.)  Melodrama, thy name is Stephenie Meyer.

- Um… helmet?  Oh, wait, that would negate the ‘recklessly trying to kill yourself’ thing.

- Either Bella’s subconscious does a remarkable Edward impression or Edward’s not quite so far away as she thinks.  For the sake of my sanity, I hope it’s the latter, because I don’t think I could take the inanity of her actually just hallucinating him.   … And yes, voice-that-may-or-may-not-be-Edward, she does want to kill herself, and that is what this is about.

- Bella sees the up side of dating a werewolf.
Jacob: “Bella, you’re bleeding.”
Bella: “Don’t eat me!”
Jacob: “…What?”
Bella: “Oh, that’s right.  You’re not a vampire who’s constantly wanting to kill me.  Well, let’s go take care of this gaping head wound, then.  But not too quickly, because I don’t want my dad to find out I nearly killed myself.  Hey, your dad doesn’t happen to be a doctor with centuries of experience and a handy medical bag, does he?  Because that sure was convenient.”

- Haha.  Oh, Bella.  You sure do like to oogle guys, don’t you?  And I think the word you’re looking for is “handsome”… is generally the accepted compliment that doesn’t have you coming off like a weirdo.

- So, Bella seems to have developed a relationship with this voice in her head that’s akin to that which a child might have with a neglectful parent.  Namely, that bad attention is better than no attention.  You really are one seriously messed up girl, Bella.

- Oh, Bella, don’t go to the meadow.  And certainly don’t bring some other guy to the meadow.  Honestly, woman.  Are you insane?

- Billy seems suspiciously unconcerned about a giant bear on the loose.  Gee, I wonder if it’s not really a bear?

- So, Bella, how do you suppose Jacob would react if he knew you were only spending all this time with him because you’re grasping at any way to remember Edward?  Yeah, that’s what I thought.

- LOL!  “I bet you’d taste good.”  Ah, Jacob, you poor, ignorant tool of irony.

New Moon, ch. 5 and 6

Posted in Books with tags , on October 6, 2008 by Shawna Buchanan

(Spoilers below.)

Chapter 5 -

- Bella’s mind works in very strange ways.
Bella: “Hey, Dad, can you tell me how to get to Jacob’s place?”
Charlie: “Sure!  It’s great that you’re seeking friendship with others again.”
Bella: “Actually, I’ve decided to be stupid and reckless and want to use Jacob to fix up these motorcycles I conveniently found so I can ride one even though I promised you years ago I wouldn’t because they’re crazy dangerous.”
Charlie: “…”
Bella: “Yeah, I’ve decided that breaking all my promises, lying to people who care about me, and seeking out ways to hurt-slash-kill myself is the only healthy and logical way to deal with my boyfriend dumping me four months ago.”

- As much as I instinctively don’t want to like Jacob, I have a feeling I’m going to, despite his perplexing attraction to a stupid, depressing girl who uses people.

Chapter 6 -

- Apparently having a handicapped father is really convenient when you’re trying to hide secret projects from him.

- A feminist Bella is not.
Jacob’s friend: “Hey, whatcha working on?”
Jacob: “We’re fixing these bikes.  And by we I mean me, because Bella’s pretty much useless.”
Jacob’s friend: “Awesome!  Let me ask lots of specific technical questions.”
Bella: “Yeah, I have no idea what you’re saying.  I’m pretty sure it’s physically impossible for any female to understand what you’re talking about, despite the fact that I personally know one incredibly girly girl who probably has several decades’ experience tinkering with motorized vehicles and could likely wipe the floor with you in a fixing-cars-up competition.”

- Occasionally, there’s a funny part that’s actually intentionally funny.  Jacob’s friend making inappropriate comments when she mentioned “riding lessons” was actually pretty hysterical.  I’m still not sure, though, whether his hitting on her is just because he’s generally horny and hits on everyone with boobs, or if this is another example of Bella’s tendency to be really attractive to people who just meet her for no good reason.

- Bella has a funny idea about appropriate dating age.
Jacob: “I think my friend likes you.”
Bella: “He’s a little young for me.”
Jacob: “He’s the same age as I am.”
Bella: “Yeah, well, that’s what I’m getting at.”
Jacob: “I’m 16.  You’re 18.”
Bella: “Exactly.”
Jacob: “Your last boyfriend was 108.”
Bella: “… Did you have a point, or…”

- Ah, foreshadowing.
Bella: “You’re a freak, wolfboy.”
Jacob: “What?”
Bella: “I mean you’re tall.  You’re a freak ’cause you’re tall.  Not ’cause you can turn into a wolf at all.”

- Is it just me, or does Bella not grasp the concept of just being friends with a guy?  No wonder Charlie’s giving her “WTF?” looks.  Hey, Bella, here’s a tip: being depressed and lifeless unless you’ve got a guy to hang on and obsess over isn’t all that healthy or normal.

- Spaghetti: a traditional Native American dish.  I bet Billy uses that “tribal elder” voice way more often than is strictly politically correct.

- Uh, yeah, I know Stephenie Meyer has apparently spent about zero time in the Northwest, but I can’t remember ever being invited to someone’s house when they knew perfectly well that their place wasn’t big enough for everyone that was invited and then forced to eat on chairs in the muddy front lawn, in the dark, by the light coming from inside the house, until the rain showed up all of a sudden and made everyone leave because, again, the house is apparently too small to hold everyone.  Or maybe she just thinks Billy is a incredibly rude in a really passive way.

New Moon, ch. 3 and 4

Posted in Books with tags on October 4, 2008 by Shawna Buchanan

As before, spoilers follow.

Chapter 3 –

- So, Edward says that it’s time they were leaving anyway, because Carlisle (who is physically 23) can barely pass for 30 and he’s claiming 33.  But… they only arrived in town three years ago.  So, they came in, settled in, and set as his starting age one that he could “barely” pass for?  Either Stephenie Meyer fails at math, she forgot her own timeline for the story, or she thinks her characters are idiots who don’t plan ahead (which, for someone who’s hundreds of years old, would be something).  My guess is one of the first two.  Well, either that, or Edward’s simply lying.  It would be more forgiving to the author to believe that, though not to the character.  However, it would go well with my next point.

- Cold, Edward.  Cold.  Oh, I see what he’s doing, and that he thinks it’s for the best.  And yes, theoretically getting out of Bella’s life so she won’t, you know, accidentally be killed by him or his family is probably a good idea, and does show that he cares for her (even if that doesn’t extend to taking her feelings into account, consulting her, or even giving her fair warning), but taking back the gift he gave her and even the picture of him she took, so that there will be no evidence he was there?  Cold.

- For that matter, you’d think, if he was having feelings in the leaving-her direction, he’d have thought about that before allowing her to open the gift, if he suspected he might only end up taking it away.

- The method used to show the passage of the months was actually quite effective, I thought.  As I turned each page, I kept expecting the story to start up again, but the months just kept passing.  By the time the words came back, I was surprised at how much time had passed without any news from either of them.  This somehow, I felt, helped me to connect with the sort of emptiness and numbness that Bella was probably feeling during this time.  It reminds me of something I heard about music, that it’s not just the notes, but the silences between them.  This is an excellent use of the spaces between the words speaking more than words themselves could.  (Or, to be more specific, the extreme sparseness of the words speaking more than an abundance could.)

Chapter 4 –

- It really is kind of rude of Bella to be so depressed in front of her dad, who knows exactly what it’s like to be walked out on by the person you love.  His concern was understandable, if oddly vague.
Charlie: “You need to go out and do something, Bella.  All this being responsible and getting good grades is bumming me out.”
Bella: “You want me to get into trouble?”
Charlie: “I want you to go out, make some friends with supernatural creatures, get an obscenely dangerous boyfriend, nearly get yourself killed… you know, like you used to before you became such a downer to be around.”

- It’s really getting tiring to keep saying how idiotic Bella is.

- So, she hears a voice in her head now.
Bella: “Option one, I’m crazy.”
Me: “Crazy stupid, maybe.”
Bella: “Option two, I’m delusional.”
Me: “And this is a new development?”
Bella: “Option three… there is no option three.”
Me: “Option three, Edward is keeping tabs on you via Jessica and has found a way to project his voice into your mind.  Granted, that’s a bit of a longshot, too, but really, considering we’re dealing with a mind-reader here, the possibility should at least have occurred to you.”

New Moon, ch. 1 and 2

Posted in Books with tags on October 3, 2008 by Shawna Buchanan

As I said in my last post, in an attempt to update this blog more regularly with something, I’m gonna go ahead and post my thoughts of the book I’m currently reading as I go, rather than waiting until the end.  Obviously, this means there will be significant spoilers, so if you haven’t read the book and think you may at some point want to, without having it spoiled, don’t read.  If, however, you want to know what random and often silly thoughts go through my head as I read, then here you go.

Not long ago, I started the second book of the Twilight series, by Stephenie Meyer.  A lot of times I like to go into books/movies without knowing what they’re about, so I’m totally surprised.  Especially when they’re sequels to books I already enjoyed.  So, I won’t tell you what this is about either, except that it’s the sequel to the book I reviewed in my last post.

**

Chapter 1 –

*

- Edward is incredibly un-self-aware.
Bella: “Let’s watch Romeo and Juliet.  And we can snuggle, even though it’s just like cuddling with an ice sculpture.  My love for you means I won’t even notice how ridiculously uncomfortable it really is.  Also, I kinda have a thing for Romeo.”
Me: “No.  Really?”
Edward: “Psh.  Romeo’s an idiot.  Why would you like him?”
Me: “That’s kinda what I’m wondering.”
*
- Vampires know how to throw a party.  Too bad it’s wasted on somebody who resents anyone acknowledging the fact that she’s getting older.
*
- I love how Bella thought of Emmett as the older brother she wished she had, only really, really terrifying.
*
- Okay, I did really like the ending of this chapter.  Great hook, and I love seeing the good guys go vampy.
**
Chapter 2 –
*
- Bella really is dumb as a post.  Seriously, she wants to be a vampire, but her boyfriend won’t oblige.  She passingly mentions that he’s not the only one who can do it, but Carlisle is too noble to go behind Edward’s back.  Hello, Bella?  There’s still five other vampires you could ask.  And Alice already wants you to be one of them.  Maybe just have a little word with her and Emmett (he could be there to pull Alice off should it be necessary), and let Edward deal with it later.  Like, “Dude, I know you’re my boyfriend and all, but you don’t own me.”  Although when she was asking Carlisle I did get this rather amusing image of her holding out her arm and going, “Come on.  Just a little nibble?”  Because teasing vampires is funny, and totally something she’d do.  And if she’s really desperate and sneaky, she’d trick Edward into one of those a-little-too-much kisses, then “accidentally” cut her tongue on his teeth enough to break the skin and absorb some of the venom.
*
- Carlisle is dangerously close to bumping Remus Lupin out of the top spot on my list of “fictional characters I’d happily marry if they were real (and available)”.  Kind, caring, noble, gentle, intelligent, family man, and just the right amount of badassitude.  And oh yeah, he doesn’t suffer from what is apparently the single downside to being this brand of vampire (the whole wanting to kill humans thing).  Oh yeah, totally the awesomest Cullen.
*
- Bella is DUMB as a POST!
Edward: “I in equal parts want to both murder you and have probably fatal sex with you.”
Bella: “Aw, that’s sweet.  I know nearly your entire family wanted to kill me for a second today, and your brother almost did, and you were about this close from doing it yourself for a while, but that doesn’t bother me in the least.”  *snuggles closer*
Edward: *is dumbfounded*
*
- I really do like the Cullens.  Emmett’s cool.  Alice is an adorable little pixie.  And poor Esme.  She’s just so sweet, and she felt so bad when she went all vampy, I just wanted to give her a hug.  Okay, Rosalie’s kind of a massive bitch, but I’m really hoping she gets over that.  And you just gotta feel bad for Jasper.  I really hope we get to see the next time Bella and Jasper run into each other.  Because that could be some Grade-A awkwardness (could, but probably won’t).
Bella: “Hey, Jasper.”
Jasper: “Hey, Bella.  Sorry about the, you know, trying to eat you thing.”
Bella: “It’s cool.  I don’t mind getting nearly killed by vampires.  Well, not ones I like, anyway.”
Jasper: “It’s just, you smell so tasty, and I just really want to bite you.”
Bella: “Yeah, I get that a lot.”
Jasper: “Nothing personal, though.  I just really want to bite everyone, like, all the time.”
Bella: “Oh…”
Jasper: “You okay?”
Bella: “Yeah, no, it’s just… I kinda thought I was special.”
Jasper: “Nah, you’re just special to Edward.  Oh, but, I mean, I like you, too!  Just, you know, not in that way.  Not like Edward.  Heh.  He *really* wants to murder you.  I mean, *really*.  But I’d totally bite you before someone like, I don’t know, that Mike kid.  He seems like a total douche.  I bet he tastes awful.”
Bella: *is unconvinced*
Jasper: ”… No, I’d eat him, too.”
Bella: *backs away slowly*
**
In other news, the formatting for this post has for some reason decided to be completely disagreeable regarding the concept of putting spaces between paragraphs.  Grr.

Twilight

Posted in Reviews with tags , on September 30, 2008 by Shawna Buchanan

After months of prodding by my cousins, I finally got around to reading the much-hyped Twilight (partially in preparation for the movie coming out in November). The short story is: I quite liked it.

Which isn’t to say that I’d recommend it, however. Not to everybody, at least. I think a lot of people, like, oh… guys, will think it’s utterly silly and ridiculous. In a lot of ways, it is. It’s sort of… literary candy. There’s nothing especially fancy or beneficial about it, but it’s enjoyable, and a little addictive. If I had to describe Twilight in one word, it would be this: indulgent.

Twilight, if you haven’t heard, is the love story of a human girl and a vampire boy. The girl, Bella, is immediately drawn to him for fairly obvious reasons: he’s incredibly good-looking and rather mysterious. The vampire, Edward, has rather different reasons for being drawn to Bella. Reasons that we don’t really get explained until quite a way into the book, and which aren’t really done justice until the WIP sequel, called Midnight Sun, which is actually just Twilight from Edward’s POV. (Unfortunately, the first twelve chapters of that booked got leaked online, which means that the author is feeling disinclined to finish the book. Unfortunate, that is, because it’s actually quite a bit better and more interesting than Twilight, in my opinion. She’s put the leaked chapters up on her website so they’re available to read, but I do hope one day she finishes it.)

(From here on there’ll be massive spoilers, so if you haven’t read it and don’t want to be spoiled, you might want to stop reading.)

Now, I had planned to write a nice, coherent, thought-out review, but I’m apparently too lazy/busy for that, so in the interest of getting a blog out (since it’s been so long), I’m just going to copy/paste some of the thoughts I had while reading it, which were originally in e-mails to the aforementioned cousins.

Sept. 8 –

So, I finally started reading Twilight last night (or rather, this morning). I’ve only read the first chapter so far. It seems interesting. I’m certainly curious why Edward is giving her death glares. So, um, are we supposed to like Bella? Because she kinda seems like a whiny little bitch. She spends the better part of the first chapter not just complaining about life in general, but complaining about the type of weather and landscape I most enjoy as if she’s in the seventh circle of hell. Not to mention ragging on what she thinks of as a tiny school which is larger than the one I went to. Um, so yeah, she’s really not endearing herself to me. Okay, I get that they have to establish that the sun doesn’t show itself, thus explaining how vampries can be out during the day (and Iike how it’s said they’ve come from Alaska; I’ve been saying for years that it makes more sense for vampires to live in Alaska than it does for them to live in LA), but do they have to do it in such an irritating way? Do teenagers like this so much because they can relate to her whiny-bitchiness?

Sept. 10 –

Okay, so I’m through chapter five now (I think) and I have to admit, it’s a little addictive. And I think I’ve figured out what it is the teenagers see. I remember quite well being a teenage girl and having an all-consuming crush on a guy (or close enough) who you know is far too cool/hot/whatever to be interested. Except in Bella’s case, for some reason I haven’t yet gotten to, he is. It’s sort of…fantasy fulfillment. Like the kind of stuff you might have day-dreamed about in class while sitting near said guy. Yeah, I can totally see the appeal of that for teens. And I have to admit Edward’s growing on me. He’s rather snarky, and I loves me some snark. Still, the story does often read like a bad Legolas/OFC fanfic. It’s sort of like literary Nutella. I know it’s not all that fancy, and I know it’s not terribly beneficial to me, but I just can’t stop eating it.

At this point, I have to say, Edward is growing on me. I like when he laughs at her discomfort. He’s had a few nice lines, like (paraphrasing): “I can’t help it if you’re exceptionally unobservant,” and, “Maybe I’m not a superhero. Maybe I’m a villain.”

Sept. 11 –

So, I read another chapter of Twilight, the one where they go to the beach and meet Jacob. So, is he like a werewolf? No, don’t tell me. Supposedly his ancestors are but I doubt he’d be telling people about it if he was one. Or not. Logic isn’t exactly the driving force in this story. (And I love how she didn’t even twitch at the mention of werewolves. Or maybe she just didn’t follow through with the idea that if the vampires of the story are real, so are the werewolves.)

(It was in here somewhere that I went ahead and read the chapters of Midnight Sun that were posted online–a far, far more interesting read.)

Sept. 14 –

I’m now up to the point right after Edward takes her out to the secluded little meadow and shows her his sparkles. That’s still so freaking hysterical; I love it. Of course, I couldn’t help myself and so I’ve spent the past, oh, ten hours or so reading the part online of his POV. I have to say, I think I like reading Edward’s POV better. Even from reading Twilight, Edward strikes me as pretty hilarious. There was nothing terribly surprising to me about his motives behind his actions/reactions. At least his sudden obsession makes more sense and is less pathetic than hers. I think one of the main reasons I like reading his side better is just that, aside from liking him better than Bella, I like the people he’s around a lot more, too. Oh, Charlie and Angela are pretty cool, they seem like decent people at least, but I have to say that Edward’s family is much more interesting. I’m especially fond so far of Alice and Carlisle, but they’re all pretty interesting and fun to read (except perhaps Rose, who’s kind of a, well, bitch). But I think the main thing is that, while reading Bella’s POV seems a bit ridiculous and overly melodramatic and silly quite frequently, I’m actually not getting that same feeling from reading Edward’s POV. I can take that version more seriously. That may be partly because I can accept such outrageous behavior from a vampire a little easier than I can from a teenage girl. Although, to be fair, I’ve always had a fondness for characters who are/were dark/evil, but are now good, or trying to be, and just might, given the right circumstances, snap and kill someone.

I do find it funny, though, that Meyer seems to be romanticising the very “bad boy” phenomenon that Rowling warned us against, whenever someone would express a fondness for Draco, Lucius, or Snape.

Sept. 15 –

Well, I finished it. And you know what? I like it. I can’t help it. Yes, Bella does kind of annoy me. And that ending, sheesh. I mean, how utterly moronic is she? Seriously, as soon as she got off the phone with James she should have immediately told Alice and Jasper what happened so that they could all form a plan of attack. However… I did like that they skipped over the tedious vampire fight scene at the end. I’m sure the movie will make a whole production out of it, but frankly I was glad that it skipped right to them saving her. Also, it made Edward, Jasper, and Emmett seem totally badass that Edward just pulled James off her, then let his brothers “deal with him”. Yeah, that made me LOL. And I’ll agree that the romantic relationships are mostly hard to buy, but I really love the ridiculously heartwarming Cullen family vibe. They’re all just so darn sweet! When Carlisle called Bella part of his family when they were playing baseball, I actually had to stop reading and go, “Awww.” Because really, I’m just a big sap. I love all that family togetherness crap. And I kind of adore Carlisle. Where can I get one of him?

(and then, in response to some of what they said…)

I agree about Bella being irritating, but I kind of find Edward a bit hilarious. In fairness, I read about his watching her sleep from his POV first, so it was a bit less creepy to me. Although I do find her lack of finding things like that even a bit creepy to be a bit disturbing. The other thing is that whenever he (or anyone, but it seems to usually be him) says something about how something could have gone or didn’t, or refuses to disclose something, it tends to immediately make me think of what it might have been like if it had gone that way, or if he had told her, and the image conjured in my mind is often quite funny. Like when he told her about the excuse he thought up later as to why he saved her from the truck, I got this rather hilarious picture of her getting all mangled, her blood puddling all over the pavement, and him crouched there on his hands and knees, lapping up the blood like a dog, while all the other students stand around, first in horror, and then going, “…Dude?” and he looks up at them, his mouth covered in blood, and is like, “What?” …And now I just added to that the image of him getting his tongue frozen to the icy pavement. … Yeah, those are the kinds of things that pop into my head all the time when I read this. Although sometimes the actual jokes they make amuse me a lot, too, particularly the vampire jokes, like when she thought they might be getting dressed up to turn her into a vampire and he’s all like, “Thought that would be a black tie affair, did you?” which pretty much was exactly what I was thinking. And the prom horror movie crack with the vampires and locking everyone in and slaughtering them… quite amused me. And sometimes when things aren’t worded quite as well as they perhaps could be… like when he takes her to that Italian place and it says something about him opening the door without taking his eyes off of her, and I immediatley imagined him opening the door, all smooth and cool, and another car speeding by and totally taking the door off, then him just looking at the missing door, then looking back at her and going, “Well… that was embarassing.” … I have a feeling this book my be far more amusing in my head than it is on the page.

The lying in the book did rather displease me, especially the easy way that Bella seems to think of lying as a perfectly acceptable alternative to telling the truth, despite how she may claim to be a bad liar.

Some of the logical problems, character inconsistencies, and time issues bothered me. Like how Edward’s saying things like, “A good dose of fear would be the best thing for you,” then not too long after, in the meadow, going, “Don’t fear me.” And a lot of times it seemed like the actions she described would not take near the time it seemed to. Like at one point Bella’s running late for school, then Edward picks her up and his crazy driving gets her there in plenty of time. Now, for that to be true, for there to be any real noticible time saving, she’d have to live a good distance away. If it normally takes her five minutes to drive to school and he gets her there in three, that’s not really enough to make her go from almost-late to having plenty of time. But later, she says that it would be no big deal to walk home (and remember, at one point she dreads walking five miles through woods, because she’s so clumsy), so that would indicate that it was maybe a mile or two away, in which case any time savings by driving fast would be negligible.

I had some issues with the very end, as well. When they save her, Edward’s there, acting like you might expect a human boyfriend to, all panicked and concerned for her safety. Only a couple days before, he seemed to be still so affected by her scent that her enthusiastic kiss made him pull back, as if he was going to lose control. Then take into account the fact that he hadn’t been around her for a day, which he claims weakens his immunity to her scent (so to speak). Then suddenly when he sees her, it’s not just a finger prick, but a massive headwound that’s spilling copious amounts of her blood. Even considering his concern for her at that moment, how is it that he didn’t lose control and go after her blood? And then, they decide that he’d be the right one to suck the venom out. Okay, granted, Carlisle is busy stitching her head, but Alice is right there, and she seems to have perfectly fine control, and she’d certainly have more than Edward would when it came to Bella’s blood. Why didn’t she do it? For that matter, if she has enough control to sit there calmly helping while a human’s bleeding that much, why was it necessary for her to skip her class when they did blood typing, too? Surely she wouldn’t have been fazed at all. And then later, when they’re in the hospital and Bella notes that Edward’s eyes are mostly black, only slightly amber… Now, it said something about them hunting every two weeks or so, which seems to imply that it takes that long for their eyes to turn from amber to black. If they’d gone hunting at any point after rescuing Bella, his eyes would still be amber. But if not, as seems the case, his eyes should be slightly red, not slightly amber, as the last blood he drank was human.

I am glad, though, that she was finally like, “Dude, why don’t you just turn me into a vampire?” because that’s kind of what I was thinking from the start. Given that these vampires have, like, none of the usual weaknesses and a huge number of advantages, if the only down side is wanting to drink blood, and animal blood is a viable option… seems like the necessity for a bit of self-control is a small trade-off for the advantages of being a vampire, not the least of which in her (and his) case is getting to be with your true love. His reluctance (to say the least) on this issue doesn’t make much sense to me.

And now I’d just like to add that one thing I did appreciate was the fact that both Bella and (more importantly) Edward came right out and said they’re virgins. With the backwards sort of stigma that virginity has in our society today, it’s nice to see it being romanticized, as well it should be. Especially in books aimed at teens. … Even if it did inspire me to draw this:

… but in my defense, that was mostly because I wanted to draw Edward with a dorky smile, because he strikes me as very dorky sometimes. (And I know I forgot the darkness around the eyes, and I really wanted to give him sharp teeth, but I haven’t figured out yet what these vamps’ teeth are meant to look like.)

I’ve actually been wanting to draw a lot from this book, mostly to get down my versions before the movie shatters all my mental images. Maybe I’ll post some later.

I started reading the second book, New Moon, so I just may post my thoughts on that as I go.